Birthday in Christ. It's a Birthday Week!

God has been doing a lot of work in my heart and it has been awesome!  The team that was here was so full of the Holy Spirit and I heard and saw miracles happen.  I have known Christ and understand Christ for almost 5 years now.  However, I found myself trying to convince myself that I was free from sin and Jesus would look at me one day and say, “Well done, my good and faithful servant”.  I realized I came to Jesus in my heart but I still was thirsty for more and Jesus does not want me to be convincing myself!  After having people poor truth into my life, telling me about their life, I decided to take another leap of faith and be baptized in the Holy Spirit.  I can’t explain the amount of freedom that came with the baptism and how peaceful my heart became.  I felt like my stony heart was gone and my heart was filled with life because it was and is filled with the Holy Spirit!  The next day, I was able to be baptized in the ocean in Haiti.  It was the most beautiful place ever and I felt like I was on cloud nine.  The joy in my heart has changed completely.  I thought I knew Christ but this is a whole new life!  After the baptism, there were tiny tiny rain drops (even though it was sunny).  I believe God was rejoicing with soft tears.

August 10, 2013

My Birthday =)

Yesterday was a hard day for me.  We have a team visiting and they are so wonderful.  They are from Siloam Springs and all of them are friends with the Tugwells.  I am thankful they are here but it made me really miss my friends and family.  I had a very up and down day yesterday.  I prayed that I could still be content on my birthday even being a part from everyone who I longed to be with.  God provided more than I could ask for.  I woke up and one of that lady’s on the team gave me a book that my wonderful friend Katie (who is now a 4^th grade teacher! YAY) got together.  This book had letters from my friends and it was truly the encouragement I needed.  I fell on my knees thanking God for my friends and that God saw that small encouragement I needed He provided through my friends =)  The day got even better!  We went to a church where the men on the team were leading a Pastor Conference.  Well, there was also summer school going on.  My heart is always drawn to run to the little kid’s room but today I felt like I needed to be in the older kid’s room.  God told me to talk to this girl who I saw yesterday at church.  Her name is Jennifer, she is 14, and she is part of the orphan program.  I was drawn to her and she was drawn to me.   I don’t know what is going to happen but I have a feeling God wants me to help her in some way!  The older kids sang Happy Birthday to me in Creole.  It was the most beautiful song I ever heard and I wanted to burst into tears, but I didn’t because they would have totally made fun of me haha.  As if meeting Jennifer was not a big enough blessing… I met Sandy.  Sandy is 20 years old and is a teacher here in Haiti.  She wants to learn more English, she is beautiful, and I can’t wait to see what God does through us.  I will see Sandy and Jennifer a lot because they go to Pastor Andre’s church and Lori and Noel work with pastor Andre at least once a week!  I love how great OUR GOD is!  He went out of His way to tell me “well done” on moving to Haiti and because you said yes I will bless you.  Thank you Jesus.

July 31, 2013

This morning I woke up kind of discouraged.  Lori and Noel went to the land they are hoping to get to set up another soup kitchen, maybe start a school, and use it in any other way to help further God’s kingdom.  They were meeting with Pastor Andre at 7:00 so I told them I would stay and watch the kids.  They took Esther with them because she was already by at 6:15 a.m. She says she does not like that chicken (the rooster that wakes us up every morning).

When I got out of bed at 6:30 Lily and Silas were already up which was fine except it is hard to spend time with Jesus and in the Bible with kids screaming.  I did the best I can to focus on the Lord but I just was really sad- missing my family and friends a lot.  On top of the screaming that took place all morning, there was a tarantula in the house.  It was HUGE!! Thank goodness we had Ernie at the house to get rid of it for us.  Needless to say the morning was not the greatest at the house and I later found out why.

While I was with the kids all morning, Lori and Noel were praying over the land and signing some papers.  On their way home, they got pulled over.  The police were trying to find ways to take them to jail.  He asked for their passports (which they had a copy) and then asked for their green card (which is the card you show the airport when you deport the country).  Well, no one knew you had to have your green card.  The policeman was persistent on taking them to jail.  Noel told the man that they were friends with Madam Sophia (the president’s wife) and she would not be happy about this.  Because of the Lords protection and provision the policemen told them to leave.   

After Lori, Noel, and I debriefed about our morning—Noel really spoke truth into my life and gave me the encouragement I needed that day.  He said this just shows that the enemy is threatened by what is going to happen here.  We are under attack but that is a good thing because we are furthering the kingdom.  “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.  Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.  For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  Therefore put on the full armor of God” Ephesians 6:10-13

The day got much better.  Lori and I went to the grocery store to get food for the team coming Saturday, went to the bank, and got a rental car all by ourselves!  We sure serve a Mighty God who loves all his children =)

People and Processes

Right now we have currently had a lot of downtime, which has been very different from other mission trip teams I have been on.  I am used to waking up around 6 a.m. and not resting my head until 11 p.m.  God used the book “When Helping Hurts” to really speak to me.  It explained how a ministry in inner city Chicago was trying to rebuild an area.  A couple of families moved into this area and began to build relationships with them.  These families spent two years of getting to know them, listening to their stories, and hearing about their life before the rebuilding began.  It is about people and processes, not projects and products.  I am praying that I will be able to learn some Creole or become friends with someone who can translate for me.  I can’t build relationships until I can speak to them.  However, God has shown me the importance of smiling and laughter.  It is so cool that no matter where you are in the world a smile and laughter is the same in every language.  What an amazing blessing. 

We will be hosting a team for a week on Saturday.  Right now we are in the process of preparing everything for this team.  We will be hosting a pastor conference, medical clinics, and be used by God in any way we should.  I am watching over Esther, Lily, Silas, and Louis a lot right now while Lori and Noel get done what they need to get done.  “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.  It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” Colossians 3:23-24

I am beyond thankful for the amount of friends and family I have supporting me. Whenever I feel alone, I think about everyone who is serving alongside me.  I am not alone; I’m not even close to being alone.   

Saying Bye to my Family

When my family left, I was sad but God immediately provided me with comfort and peace.  “Which of you, if his son asks for bread will give him a stone?  Or if he asks for a fish, will you give him a snake?  If you, then, though you are evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” Matthew 7:9-11. I know in my heart I am exactly where I am supposed to be.  It brings so much joy to me to know my parents know where I am, they have seen where I am living, and they are encouraging me every step of the way. 

After I said bye to my family and sent them back to the stats, we went to church and told our driver (because we currently do not have a car) which church we wanted to go to.  He took us to a different church but it was in English =) I really felt that God wanted us to go to that church.  The pastor spoke about families, unity, rebuilding Haiti.  It was cool to see how many people have the same desire the Tugwells, myself, and so many others here and not here have for Haiti.   At church, there was this sweet girl who came up to me.  She reminded me so much of my friend Barbara.  She was full of joy, did not hesitate to introduce herself, full of confidence from the Lord, ready to listen to why I was here, and ready to encourage me.  One of my worst fears of being here is that I won’t have friends and I will lose my friends who are in the states.  After meeting this girl, Sara, and reminding me of Barbara, just showed me that He has it under control.  Who am I to worry?  Our God will meet all of our needs.  

I am excited for this journey.  I am praying that our house will get internet soon but we are on Haiti time, or I like to think of it as God’s time.  Please pray that I can learn Creole (Haitian French language), love how Jesus loves, and serve how Jesus serves. 

Arrived in Haiti

What a blessed time I have had so far in Haiti!  My sweet parents and wonderful brother came down to Haiti with me which made the moving process easier on me and allowed my heart to be at peace knowing how supportive they were and how God was in control.  I never realized how fortunate I am and how HUGE it was that not only did my parents let me move to Haiti, but they wanted to see Haiti for themselves.  They saw what I was running after and had the chance to see it too.  God has blessed me with an amazing, supportive family which I am so thankful for.

While they were in Haiti we did some work around the house.  My brother helped the Haitian workers and Louis build a pool =) Yes, God is in the process of blessing us with a pool in our front yard.  We are hoping this will be a place to baptize people since there is nothing like that around. My mom and I helped Lori in the house, with the kids, and painted the girls closet.  My dad went around town with some of the men on staff here.  I love how God had a special place for each of us with our time here.    

As with any third world country… time here moves to a different beat than in America.  We planned on taking a day trip to the beach.  Our goal was to leave at 9ish… that turned into 12ish.  Well then we were so close to the beach and our van broke down.  God was so good that he placed us right outside of Convoy of Hope (which was AWESOME because I have seen so many friends stay there and tell me about that organization).  Anyways, we got to the beach around 4:30 =) most people would be frustrated with this timing, but I like it.  When no time is set, I feel like we are able to hear God more clearly.  Whatever is supposed to happen will happen whenever it’s supposed to happen.

Last day in the United States

I am in the process of packing and getting everything together for the big move tomorrow.  I am at such a peace about going that I know God is watching over me.  I have been so blessed with the amount of friends and family who have been praying over me, loving me, encouraging me, and supporting me.  I have realized that it is not just me going to Haiti but a huge team going.  I cannot wait to fill you in on what God is going to do through me in Haiti.


As I have been reading and studying the Word everyday I keep coming across the same message and scriptures: letting light shine out of darkness and being the light of the world (Matthew 5:14-16; John 8:12-16; 1 Peter 2:9). If we are in Christ and Christ is within us, we can be the light of Jesus-- the hands and feet of Jesus.  Maybe I keep coming across these versus because Haiti is going to be the darkness but honestly I don't think that is it.  I think everywhere we go there is darkness and we are called to be more than that.  We are called to be the light like a city on a hill, showing others the grace and mercy our Father has for us.  What an honor that we can all be the light to someone else. 


Another message that has been placed on my heart is 20 seconds of courage and taking the leap of faith.  The same way Peter stepped out of the boat and onto the water, having faith that Jesus had everything under control.  The second Peter took his eyes off of Jesus he began to sink.  We are just like Peter, we cannot take our eyes off of Jesus not even for a second. Matthew 14:22-33 As I have been packing and preparing for the big move tomorrow I keep repeating these song lyrics by Francesca Battistelli, "when I fix my eyes on all that You are, Then every doubt I feel deep in my heart
 grows strangely dim. All my worries fade and fall to the ground cause when I seek Your face and don't look around. Any place I'm in grows strangely dim".


I am so excited to step on the plane tomorrow and take the leap of faith into an unknown country with a lot of unknowns.  What I know is... God is good all the time, He is still the ruler of the Universe, and I cannot be in a safer place than doing the will of God.  Please pray for my heart to stay at peace and excited, safe travels, my parents will love Haiti and know that I am in a safe place.